If you’re anything like us, you love a good story. Stories are a central component of how we assess and enact lasting transformation. Not all stories are created equal; some are more central than others. We call these defining stories “operative narratives.” Operative narratives reflect, shape, and reinforce our foundational beliefs and values. It is these narratives that shape our individual and collective behavior. In a business context, these narratives surface within individual leaders, are held by entire functions or business units, and can even be exhibited across an entire enterprise. Operative narratives are everywhere! Here are a few familiar examples…
| Where it surfaces… | What it sounds like… |
| An individual leader espouses a zero sum narrative. | “If you win, I lose.” |
| A team is underinvested in R&D function. | “Why bother with new product development? We’ll never get the dollars to market it.” |
| An enterprise with decades of success becomes arrogant about the value it offers customers. | “If we make it, they’ll buy it!” |
The good news is that in isolation operative narratives do not interfere with business results. The bad news is, operative narratives never happen in isolation; they’re always brushing up against other narratives!
A wildly successful company that holds to an “our products are the best — of course they’ll buy them” operative narrative doesn’t run into challenges until it brushes up against a customer’s “we expect more transparency from our suppliers” narrative. Herein lies the challenge of dueling operative narratives. It becomes a battle between “our products are superior” and “we want customer intimacy and transparency.” The longer these narratives are held and the more frequently they are experienced as true, the harder they are to transform. Left unaddressed, these deeply engrained narratives render market leaders irrelevant; they cause functions to miss opportunistic advantage and individual leaders to exit.
Reconciling the differences between operative narratives is a critical component of lasting positive business performance. This doesn’t mean homogenizing narratives or forfeiting what matters. It means finding alignment on a way forward that optimizes the best of multiple perspectives or creating an entirely new perspective altogether. At the outset, conflicting narratives may appear irreconcilable. The difference between reconciled and unreconciled doesn’t lie in how compatible the narratives are when they collide, but in each leader’s willingness to work through differences, find the common ground necessary to blend the contradictory narratives, and learn how to effectively manage the relationship between them.
Here are some approaches to keep in mind when working to manage the relationship between dueling narratives.
- Understand how they understand the situation. Too often leaders assume that “if they just understood me better, they’d get on board.” Rarely is a lack of information the root problem. It’s usually much more personal than that, as operative narratives are deeply personal. A leader feels excluded. A function feels overlooked. A business’s confidence turns to arrogance. Your ability to inquire about and listen to these feelings will open a door for you to be heard.
- Strengthen your stakeholder relationships. Complete a stakeholder analysis to articulate clearly what is needed between you and your stakeholders. Who are you in good standing with? Which stakeholder relationships need work? Which stakeholders did you overlook? Be brutally honest about the full suite of stakeholders you need to achieve shared success, not just your success. Be honest about the state of the relationship, considering both your view of it and what theirs might be as well. Make a plan to strengthen the effectiveness of your working relationship.
- Surface common ground and leverage differences. When differences create division, the natural tendency is to get everyone believing the same thing – a dangerously false notion of “alignment.” The antidote to differences is not sameness. Sameness sacrifices the synergistic benefits that true transformation between differences can afford. When addressing differences it is important that you can get those involved walking out of the room together, aligned with a shared view and common direction. Everyone must understand all points of view, especially those different from their own, yet agree on the choice that prevailed. Keep the conversation grounded in shared aspirations, and isolate the sources of difference.
- Create connection on their terms. Connect on others’ terms by learning what makes them passionate about their point of view. This will be particularly challenging when you have to go out of your way to connect with them on topics, activities, or projects that are foreign, uninteresting, or fail to drive your bottom line. As you learn what makes others tick, take any opportunity you can to advocate for their position. This sets the stage for deep levels of trust and attachment. Meaningful connection is more likely to happen in relationships that feel safe. Don’t hesitate to ask what makes them feel safe in a leadership relationship with you, and work to demonstrate those behaviors.
- Build relational closeness through healthy conflict and disclosure. Conflict is often misused and underleveraged between leaders. Conflict, even in the best of situations, is abrasive, painful, off-balancing, and disruptive; but healthy conflict is a necessary component of blending narratives. If you haven’t experienced conflict with your stakeholders, you’re not getting the most out of your time spent with them. Conflict is a two-way street; pushback and dissent need to be an accepted norm, and vulnerability and disclosure must be expected from those involved.
Reconciling dueling narratives is an act of love if it is genuine – moving from opposition past just cooperation to alliance, moving from tolerance past just acceptance to honor, moving from favors past just support to sacrifice.
What narratives need to be reconciled in your organization? What’s the first step you can take to help move yourself and other leaders in that direction?